Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize