he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
