who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
