There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
