i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
