He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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