This is not my ceiling
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This toilet bowl is my home.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
