I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
