Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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