He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
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