How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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