Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
