You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
