Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
