at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
