What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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