how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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