i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
