Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
