I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
