There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
