Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Two words: nipple clamps
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