is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
