okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
