the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
