First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i think im in europe. pls send help
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
