Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
