There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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