So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
