i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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