thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
