The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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