I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize