I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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