dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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