Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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