his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
