Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize