I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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