sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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