You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Everything about him screamed your future.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
