to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i now understand why vodka
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
