Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
