why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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