just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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