Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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