plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is Oprah even human
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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