Moan for me like Helen Keller
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
