so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
