Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
