I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
