mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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