we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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