Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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