Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
