Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
