I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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