Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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