rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
