I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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