just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
