Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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