did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize