Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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