ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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