She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
