somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
