kristin has been a bad kristin
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
